The Double Empathy Problem

Have you ever heard of the Double Empathy Problem?

The Double Empathy Problem is a concept that challenges the traditional understanding of empathy. It suggests that misunderstandings and difficulties in communication can happen, not only from the perspective of neurodivergent individuals but also from a lack of reciprocal understanding by neurotypical folks.

Talking about this theory, means, not only being aware of the mutual struggle in connecting between individuals with different neurotypes, but also removing the expectation that the autistic person should communicate in a certain way to be understood and to place the responsibility on them.

Even though the double empathy problem is a cross-neurotype mismatch relating to both autistics and allistics, it has a greater negative impact in autistic individuals. There is a correlation between autistics being misperceived by neurotypicals and being at heightened risk of poor mental health.The opposite does not exist for allistic individuals.

One reason for autistic's poor mental health is that we are burdened with having to develop our understanding of neurotypical norms and experiences in order to survive in the neurotypical-dominant world. However, there is not the same expectation for neurotypicals to try and understand autistic experiences. The mismatch goes both ways, but the responsibility is often put on autistics to “figure out” how to be included in society.

Double empathy also becomes a “problem” when allistics and autistics interact with each other and are unaware of the limits of cross-neurotype understanding.

What does research say?

Since research has historically been designed and done by neurotypicals, it is often biased. Due to double empathy, if research is based on comparing against neurotypical norms and expectations, autistics will always look “deficient”, while neurotypicals will always look “capable”. Thankfully, more and more research has recognized the biases involved in it and have made adjustments.

Research shows that non-autistic people quickly become less interested in interacting with autistic people than with other allistic people, which translates into autistic people having fewer opportunities to meet people and make friends.

Why does this happen?

It is not because autistic people talk about things that are less interesting. When non-autistic people read the words of what autistic people are saying, they do not judge them any differently than they judge non-autistic people. So, it really seems that it is how autistic people appear and sound, and not what they talk about, that leads non-autistic people to judge and avoid autistic people. The impact that this has on autistic people is that they might have fewer opportunities to make friends or get jobs because of how non-autistic people judge them.

Why might autistic people find it easier to understand other autistic people?

Different studies indicate that autistic people are less likely to rely on typical social expectations for interacting, or be upset if such expectations are not followed. In other words, autistic people give each other more freedom to express themselves in unique ways.

A commom example of a non-autistic lack of empathy for Autistic experiences is the reaction from allistic people when we mention we are Autistic. A very common response from non-autistic individuals is, ‘don’t worry, we are all a bit on the spectrum’. The non-autistic person’s response is often intended empathetically, as a way to ‘normalise’ our Autistic experience. But this non-autistic response presumes that Autistics don’t want to be Autistic (since the non-autistic person does not want to be Autistic themselves).

Improving our understanding of the ways that autistic and non-autistic people interact might help autistic people to find it easier to spend time with non-autistic friends and family as well as non-autistic teachers, doctors, and employers. By finding out more about how the double empathy problem plays out in real life, we can help non-autistic and autistic people to understand each other better and help them to “meet in the middle.”